My Inner Apocalypse

In april I decided to start a healthier lifestyle of no smoking, working out and a completely different diet.  It is a challenge to myself to have a lean muscular body with abs by summers end.  More importantly for my wife and kids.  So far I am getting very good results, its amazing what a person can do at home with a weight bench, chin-up bar, a road bike, lots of protein and a shit ton of cardio.  Once I started seeing results it was just more motivation.  When I do reach this goal, like I told my sil Emily, I’ll never wear a shirt!  Just a jackass walking around flexing.

Usually when I find something I would like to purchase it turns into a long tedious task.  Puma motorazzo shoes are my latest want, so I ventured to the foot lockers and such to find them.  I should say I found them on the web but I was hoping I could find them here in town.  At each store I asked and got a confused NO, one person (in a wicked valley girl accent) said she had never even heard of such a thing, another said they only sell them in large cities, ” Horseshit” I said as I walked away.  So the last store was a no of course but I told her that they can be ordered online. Her reply.. this is gold.  She said that if I copy the info for the shoes and bring it back to the store, they would order them for me!!!  Where do I buy food?  Duh.  I told her I’ll just do it myself, got a blank stare on that one. I’m sure she knows people have web access at home, right?  Good news is I did find them online and in my size, sweet.  Today was alot of fun, we had Sara’s family over for mothers day.  A really good meal followed by a really good game of kickball, girls vs boys.  To everyone’s surprise Emily turned out to be the ace in the hole by making  two great catches and kicking the ball like she was mad at it.  Ducati might turn pro as well as Nate.  Erin did tag me out once (she cheated on that play), Becky and Larry can still kick pretty good, but I did have the game ending walk off homer, I better line an agent up too.

What are those things called on the road? you know… oh ya, JACKASSES THAT HAVE NO  BUSINESS DRIVING!!  The following has happened to me several times and I will tell you the best and funniest way to handle it.  When I am at a red light and I am turning right ( with traffic ) sometimes the oncoming traffic has a green turn arrow,  so you have to wait, no big deal right?  I always have the person behind that thinks that I should just pull out in front of the cars turning left, but I dont.  So what follows is honking, arms waving about and some not so nice words dircted at me.  As I watch this in my mirror, I calmly turn around, make sure they see me, and I smile and wave.  And I do it until they wave back, and I don’t move until they wave back, how hard is it to wave back?  Try it, it will make your day.

Every once in a great while I will have something positive or a cheery subject to cover, so lets get on with it. Just recently we had a second set of “tubes” installed into our 2yr old son’s ears. First set didnt do so well, this set, looking good. It felt like the next day Finn’s ability to speak was better than ever, probably helps being able to hear and stuff like that. Everyone that knows Mr.Guy is aware that this only adds to his charm and mystique.  As my wife says, its not fair to other people that he’s so gorgeous.  The truth hurts sometimes.  I wonder if there is an outpatient surgery for London to rid her of the sass and her defiance to do anything I ask.

I have a problem with the following; when you call someone and they answer and before you can say a word they ask if they can call you back. If your that busy,DONT ANSWER THE PHONE!!! This is not nuclear science people! Sometimes I dont answer my phone because I just dont want to, there are no rules that say you have to. So lets just answer it when your ready to talk. You with me?

First of all let me thank my brother in law Steve(Ducati) for setting this site up for me, he’s a pro at this stuff, I am not. Today is my wife Sara’s birthday, so we are leaving to go out to dinner and I notice a huge door ding on my passenger side door. Boooo!! Dammit!!! What kind of jackass would do that? Its not a ding, its a full grown dent. No note, no apology, just a bitter taste in my mouth and the urge to throw an elbow to someone’s larnyx!!! I know it’s just a car, but it’s also a sign of disrespect to someone else’s property.  Back forty parking space…nice to meet you.