My Inner Apocalypse

New Favorite show: Archer on FX. I pee a little every time.

I just realized while retrieving gifts from the attic to wrap for the kids that I am 100% an adult/parent. Lately all I can think about is when the kids are grown and they have their own homes and nice things, going to their house and spilling food, breaking shit and completly disregard anything they say. Maybe I’ll even shit my pants. Dont get me wrong I love them to death, but I am pretty sure they know what kind of horseshit they are pulling, so years from now I’ll give it back.  Its gonna be sweet!

My job, like everyones, is at times a love/ hate relationship. I work for a great company, the hours suck, the work is very abusive at times, but its what I do and I consider myself very fortunate to have it. A thorn in my side that I have had since I started working years ago and with every job is that there are people who dont pull their own weight. They remind me of the misfit toys in the old Rudolph christmas movie, just running around not really making a difference with their two elephant trunks or missing button eyes. The odd part of this is the lead people whose job it is to get things done, do not use these people. They realize they cannot depend on them, so they use people they can count on. Needless to say If my feet stop moving, they want to know what Im doing next, while the misfits stand there and try and figure out why their eyes burn when they stare at the sun! I am not bragging, I just belive when you do things right, people are not sure you did anything at all. Should I be happy Im needed or are the three legged Pooh bears playing the system? I guess if they sleep good at night then why should I care, after all there is such a thing as bad Karma. Merry Christmas Pooh!!

My new Flyshades kick ass, if I knew how put pictures along with this I would, but I dont, so sorry. They are super dark, category 4 is the class, the same as moutaineering glasses I was told.  Worth the wait they were.  I purchased them  from a gentleman in Portugal. He has an original pair of Bolles that he made 3D molds from, then had someone produce new improved models. They turned out very nice. Sara and I are gearing up  for our upcoming concerts, U2 and Depeche Mode, one in Boston and one in Floridia. Should be fun.

In an effort to relive younger days,  I began searching for sunglasses that Bono(U2) wore in the early 90s, known as “fly” glasses.  In the mid 90s I did have a very similar pair that I missplaced several years back.  This subject might be boring to some,  a broken record to those who have heard the story,  but it was meant to be.  History101: The original glasses that Bono wore were made by Bolle. Lunasports as they were called were a one piece wrap around style  very high quality for there time. These glasses were made in France in the 60s, these are very rare nowadays, Ive only seen one pair for sale, for $1000, yikes! The story goes that U2s wardrobe man found 3 pairs at a thrift store and gave them to Bono.  Propaganda is a fanzine and merchandise company sanctioned by U2,  back in the early nineties you could buy very poorly made replicas of the originals for $15.00.  I just recently saw a pair sell for $160 on ebay,  kind of steep for glasses that give you a headache in ten minutes. I have spent about three months looking for originals or anything similar to them,  I did find some that are close but the company is in Brazil.  After many attempts to contact them I gave up. One other lead looked very promising but it crashed and burned also. Part 2 will be posted soon and I’ll let you know how my search ends.         P.S no Emily, your not the idiot.

Not going into any detail,  but there are a lot of Idiots in this world making bad decisions. Guess that explains why things are the way they are right now.

In april I decided to start a healthier lifestyle of no smoking, working out and a completely different diet.  It is a challenge to myself to have a lean muscular body with abs by summers end.  More importantly for my wife and kids.  So far I am getting very good results, its amazing what a person can do at home with a weight bench, chin-up bar, a road bike, lots of protein and a shit ton of cardio.  Once I started seeing results it was just more motivation.  When I do reach this goal, like I told my sil Emily, I’ll never wear a shirt!  Just a jackass walking around flexing.

Usually when I find something I would like to purchase it turns into a long tedious task.  Puma motorazzo shoes are my latest want, so I ventured to the foot lockers and such to find them.  I should say I found them on the web but I was hoping I could find them here in town.  At each store I asked and got a confused NO, one person (in a wicked valley girl accent) said she had never even heard of such a thing, another said they only sell them in large cities, ” Horseshit” I said as I walked away.  So the last store was a no of course but I told her that they can be ordered online. Her reply.. this is gold.  She said that if I copy the info for the shoes and bring it back to the store, they would order them for me!!!  Where do I buy food?  Duh.  I told her I’ll just do it myself, got a blank stare on that one. I’m sure she knows people have web access at home, right?  Good news is I did find them online and in my size, sweet.  Today was alot of fun, we had Sara’s family over for mothers day.  A really good meal followed by a really good game of kickball, girls vs boys.  To everyone’s surprise Emily turned out to be the ace in the hole by making  two great catches and kicking the ball like she was mad at it.  Ducati might turn pro as well as Nate.  Erin did tag me out once (she cheated on that play), Becky and Larry can still kick pretty good, but I did have the game ending walk off homer, I better line an agent up too.

What are those things called on the road? you know… oh ya, JACKASSES THAT HAVE NO  BUSINESS DRIVING!!  The following has happened to me several times and I will tell you the best and funniest way to handle it.  When I am at a red light and I am turning right ( with traffic ) sometimes the oncoming traffic has a green turn arrow,  so you have to wait, no big deal right?  I always have the person behind that thinks that I should just pull out in front of the cars turning left, but I dont.  So what follows is honking, arms waving about and some not so nice words dircted at me.  As I watch this in my mirror, I calmly turn around, make sure they see me, and I smile and wave.  And I do it until they wave back, and I don’t move until they wave back, how hard is it to wave back?  Try it, it will make your day.

Every once in a great while I will have something positive or a cheery subject to cover, so lets get on with it. Just recently we had a second set of “tubes” installed into our 2yr old son’s ears. First set didnt do so well, this set, looking good. It felt like the next day Finn’s ability to speak was better than ever, probably helps being able to hear and stuff like that. Everyone that knows Mr.Guy is aware that this only adds to his charm and mystique.  As my wife says, its not fair to other people that he’s so gorgeous.  The truth hurts sometimes.  I wonder if there is an outpatient surgery for London to rid her of the sass and her defiance to do anything I ask.